"I'm no close to perfection,
and this imperfection of mine
is just what suits me perfectly"
.....hi, Welcome to my blog :)
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16 years of age
Flip
St. Martin Secondary School
Junior
Your tagboard here.
"more ok" i should say.
thigs are weird right now.
we're starting to feel that it's ok staying like this.
staying mad at each other.
i wonder if the day would come,
that it'd be okay.
okay that we're fighting,
move on with life,
act like everything's fine,
and feel as if it doesn't matter anymore.
i'm scared~
Wednesday, December 1, 2010 @ 1:55 PM
ok you can say i'm spazzing , or venting, or if this just some random rant, iun care .i kinda wanna warn ya'll, to excuse my language. tyvm. ..you can say this wasn't what happened, iun care what you say, do not believe in me, i couldn't care less.THIS is what happened. and I swear to God, I ain't lying.
lunch was over, some were in the bistro, some were in the kitchen. the radio was staticky and jen told me too. so i asked them if it's ok if i just turn it off. jen said yes and this girl said nothin. after i turned the radio off, this girl's lookin at me , so i said i had to turn it off cuz there was too much static. SHE FUCKING LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME AND SAID "NA NA NA" . there was NO FUCKING PERSON there beside me who is like 3 damn feet away from her and a guy who is eating his lunch in peace there. so i asked what her problem was , i got nothin so i went in the kitchen , where she followed me sayin she wasnt talking to me. i ain't stupid, you mothafucka. so i leaned forward and 'yelled' that she WAS looking at me . seriously guys, i can still remember her sayin it to mah face! so SHE GRABBED ME BY MY ARM AND TOLD ME TO JUST GO. so i let go of her and once again, asked what her problem was. she slapped me and I slapped her back. the teachers told us to stop so i did and i walked out of the class where the vice-principal was, she saw me and i told her that she has a problem with that girl, she asked which girl, and I said the black girl.
i was kind of outta mah mind and everything blacked out , no means of being racist, or being rude, but she's the only black girl in there .
i am so sorry for my verbal language, mehhh ~ cause, this happened all of a sudden , im in grade 11 and i don't wanna have problems goin to university or college , i don't want any record. just pleaseeee, pleaseee , let it be a community service.
Sunday, November 14, 2010 @ 11:51 AM
ur askin how youu lied? youu fucking told me youu'll never leave me,
youu fucking told me there will never be a thought of youu leaving me!
from the fucking start youu told me youu love me,
that you'll never ever make me cry.
FUCK YOUR WORDS!
each time that i told youu i wanted to leave,
iknow that youu know i can't possibly do that,
because I told youu I won't leave youu, didn't I?
ur askin me how youu could forgive me for leaving youu and I can't?
because it was youu,
it was youu who wanted to leave,
and in these 10 months that we had,
youu let me hold on to your words that youu will never leave.
where are ur fucking words now?
gone. and so are youu.
youu can't possibly hurt me in one moment and say youu love me after 5 minutes.
IT FUCKING HURTS .
but remember , youu fucking wanted this.
we're both tired of these bullshits and it's probably right to just end this.
yes, it's getting less romantic and we're continuously drifting apart.
fights are inevitable but it's way too much.
but ok, who in the fucking hell needs youu?
i'm gonna move out by myself,
go to philippines by myself,
i'm gonna have my own car and drive myself anywhere i wanna go.
i'm gonna design my own house and hire an architect to make it for me.
i'm gonna live in it myself and be forever alone.
all the plans we made, im gonna do it myself.
because youu chose to leave me, i don't care.
"if a past couple are still friends with each other, it's either they never loved each other, or they're still in love with each other"
so let's not be friends, because i don't wanna say i never loved youu, neither to say that I still love youu.
it will fucking hurt.
goodbye~
Saturday, October 30, 2010 @ 6:23 AM
yesterday was the worst day ever, yet it is so much fun. i'm just gonna share what happened.
ok so the night after that, i studied math for like 4 hours,
even though i'm still kind of sick,
i wanted to go to school to write that math test.
so test was starting, everything's flowin smoothly,
then BAM ! .
"why's my answer like this?"
"this is wrong"
then the bell rang.
i was so mad as hell trust me.
that everyone in the hall were greeting me and i will just nod and stuff.
so okay, then we had a dance that day and we had to pay to be in civvies,
turns out i payed 4 dollars for something they wouldn't even check.
damn it.
1:30 ..
time to go home,
i couldn't find or contact my friends so i went home alone.
and then i was literally in front of the bus door ,
then it left me! :@
so I told my mom that i'm going already,
then she started sayin she dint let me go and stuff,
i was being hysterical when i found out she was jokin!
geez.
so okay, babysitting was done,
so it's elaine's moment . LOL
we had so much fun,
went to eat at imperial, and then watched "life as we know it"
after that, we went to her place to see her reaction while we're watching the video we made for her.
she was crying, as always. she's been always a crybaby.
LOL :)
but we love her ... no homo LOL xD
it was really fun.
i went home at 11 :S
and to end the day, uhhhhhhhhh.
...............im grounded.
i think?
but at the very least, we made her happy :)
Monday, October 18, 2010 @ 7:45 AM
it's been ok ?"more ok" i should say.
thigs are weird right now.
we're starting to feel that it's ok staying like this.
staying mad at each other.
i wonder if the day would come,
that it'd be okay.
okay that we're fighting,
move on with life,
act like everything's fine,
and feel as if it doesn't matter anymore.
i'm scared~
Sunday, October 17, 2010 @ 7:33 PM
don't even tell me that youu hoped real bad that i was goin to be at that bus stop. youu don't know how stupid i felt, when i thought that youu're gonna be at the next stop for sure.
that i thought youu're gonna be waiting there, at that bus stop, ride on it , and look for me.
stupid bree, what was i thinking.
disappointments are what i'm good at.
giving and taking them .
@ 7:01 PM
i miss youu. i miss us~
@ 6:34 PM
iunno . like iunno. kay it's my fault whatever.
it always is!
last night i slept with a smile on my face,
today i woke up with a biiig smile on my face .
but now? iunno if it will be the same.
kayso , iunno how to tell what happened,
or whose fault it is.
i just wanna say what happened and what i felt.
kayso , mass was done ..
i asked you where do youu wanna go,
you were like anywhere as long as you're with me,
cheesy ikno.
so i was in a good mood i was like,
i wanna eat .
i told youu where but i kept changing my mood,
but youu know what,
youu were lucky.
youu were lucky my mood swings are good mood swings.
so okay, after a lot of changes, square one it is.
i asked what do youu wanna do.
youu told me that i should decide,
wow. this never happened right babee?
did youu even notice?
i made decisions today, when did that ever happened?
i was like, wanna watch a movie?
and youu didn't like any movie,
youu didn't like any plan i did,
and whenever i ask youu what youu want,
youu told me it's up to me,
but nothing really happened.
so i was kind of disappointed let's say.
but i was in a good mood, it is our monthsarry after all right?
so ok. we ate... at burger king.
i never really went there before except that one time that i was with youu.
so i don't know any food there.
i told youu i'll just have what youu'll have.
and youu were like, i should choose.
so i was choosing, and youu told me i take too long.
wow. i was pissed, honestly.
so i was eating....
we weren't talking.
then youu talked,
we were kinda ok.
then i was teasing youu by avoiding your kiss,
then youu said i was humiliating youu?
so now, who doesn't get who?
i don't get youu.
and now i know why i'm being like this.
i was disappointed and hurt at the same time.
disappointed of how this day turned out to be,
and hurt how youu now know how to walk away from me.
this isn't the first time youu made me feel this way, i'm just saying....
so now, i'm so fucking confused and pissed at the same time i can't even talk to youu.
i should've just stayed home today....
but i just wanted to be with youu on our 8th month together.
i just wanted..... to be with youu.
is that so wrong?
i guess that was wrong.
i should've stayed home the whole day,
if i did,
we probably aren't fighting like this.
happy(?) eight months.